Preparing for Change: A Life Skill to Reduce Stress
Change. A word that strikes fear in the hearts of humans everywhere, and causes personal insecurities to manifest as an overcoat to our thought processes. The stress of change is most intense when it’s tied to items of great importance in our lives, like our jobs, homes, schools, and relationships. If this life altering event is initiated by someone else without your consent or control, it can be downright paralyzing depending on your predisposition to change. Some of us seem to be naturally better suited to accept change and to see new opportunities in atypical situations. Nevertheless, I’m a firm believer that we have the power to eliminate the fear of change by treating it as a life skill, which we can sharpen and hone over time.
Not all change is scary. In fact, some change in our lives is so highly desirable that it can create great excitement. Allow me to point your attention to your friend who is bouncing off the walls awaiting the newest iPhone release, or the person who has been on the waiting list for a new Tesla for months and spends every free moment ogling images online of his or her new dream vehicle. Make no doubt about it, these examples are indeed of “change,” but we typically don’t categorize them the same way. The word “change” usually carries a negative connotation for the majority of the public and, in many cases, represents the unnerving qualities of the unknown.
This mysterious and intimidating presence of the unknown can haunt our minds with an unrelenting whirlwind of questions flashing through every free-moment of thought. What should I do? What if “x” happens? What if “y” happens? What if “x” and “y” happen? Do I say something? How should I word it so I’m not seen in a negative light? Am I making too much of this? Is this just the tip of the iceberg? Is there something more that’s still coming?
We’ve all been in these situations and it’s important to take a step back and exercise a moment of self-awareness. Recognize that your mind is scrambling to find something familiar that represents a state of safety, and its frantic search is quickly creating levels of tremendous stress, both mentally and physically. High levels of stress can be quite dangerous if allowed to persist for any significant period of time. Sadness, depression, headaches, insomnia, stomach ailments, weight gain, and chest pain are only a few manifestations of stress. It’s important that we swiftly identify this state of mind for what it is, and retake control by thinking more positively and objectively about what the change really means to us. However, as with many challenges in life, it’s better to prepare before an incident takes place than purely react. If you are prepared, there’s significantly less anxiety infused in your reactions. Preparation is the arch-nemesis of stress.
We should think of our reaction to change as a life skill that we can fine tune through continual preparation and add to our cerebral toolbelt. Here are seven strategies to help open your mind to accepting change more easily when it occurs, and thus limiting stress:
1) Be Curious and Explore
Seek out new concepts with which you don’t have a significant understanding, yet find interesting, and dive into discovering these concepts including how they work, how they can be applied, the potential benefits or drawbacks that can come from them, etc. Don’t just scratch the surface of these topics. Get deep into the weeds. Imagine you are at a dinner party with some influential people you are looking to impress and the topic in question just came up in discussion. Let your goal be that you know the subject well enough to command the conversation with your widespread knowledge. Whether this subject is the growing impact of artificial intelligence on businesses, the art of photography, or the adoption of Bitcoin as a worldwide currency, seeking out new information for the purpose of understanding will help train your mind to be more accepting of new ideas which are often associated with change. The more curious you are and eager to enhance your comprehension of the unknown, the less scary it will be when change occurs. The initial reaction when presented with change will move away from fear and shift toward rational assessment.
2) Read
Whether it’s the news, business journals, technology magazines, online articles, biographies, poetry, or books (I’ll even lump in Audible books), reading helps expose your mind to new concepts and new perspectives that you may not have considered previously. While it’s a good rule of thumb to not always believe everything you read (especially on the internet), allowing yourself to broaden your thought processes and contemplate a variety of topics can make new ideas inspired by change less shocking.
3) Gratitude
Taking time everyday to be thankful for what you have in your life including your health, family, and friends has a grounding effect on your daily state of mind. Having a true appreciation for the positive in your life, especially those elements which represent your core being, will help put things in perspective when change rears its head. You hear stories all the time about people almost losing a loved one due to an unexpected event like a car accident or health scare. It wasn’t until this incident that they realized how trivial so many things were in their lives when compared to the loss they almost encountered. Actively creating and maintaining a mindset of gratitude and the expression of that gratitude towards others, will continuously help keep you emotionally centered, which acts as a suit of armor when the impact of change is introduced
4) Meditation / Relaxation / Exercise
Even when a change event isn’t taking place, we carry with us the stresses of our day. Over time our stress levels can build without detection. Then, when a significant change takes place, our emotions can boil over like an unattended pot on the stove, leading to actions of irrational, inappropriate, and unprofessional behavior which we may later regret. Having a consistent mechanism built into our routine to release the stresses of the day, such as meditation, breathing techniques, and exercise will help prevent stress levels from being carried at elevated heights, allowing us to better take the brunt of change while not exasperating our mental state.
5) Break Up Your Routine
The vast majority of folks love their daily routine. As creatures of habit, there’s just something very comforting and reassuring about following a well-known path from the moment you wake up. However, there are those days where a change interferes with your routine, such as your kid waking up sick or your car won’t start, and it can make you feel “off your game” for the rest of the day. While we prefer to avoid external forces altering our routine, it can be beneficial to make conscious decisions to shake up the proceedings of our day. The more we experience change (even self-imposed change) the less resistant we will be to change in the future. Perhaps you switch your weekly trip to Starbuck’s on Friday to Monday, or swap the snack during family movie night from popcorn to pretzels with cheese for a few weeks. Changes to our routine don’t have to be earthshattering to be effective.
6) Get Ahead of It
At times, we may be able to foresee a significant life change coming our way. In these cases, it’s a good idea to try to get ahead of the change, so you can help shape the outcome before it materializes. This will help you feel more in control when the anticipated event arrives. A perfect example of how acting on the anticipation of change can reduce stress would be when soon-to-be parents are expecting the birth of a child. Welcoming a new member to the family is one of the biggest changes we can experience, especially when it’s the first child. Preparation activities such as getting the nursery furnished, reading “what to expect” books, and settling on a name can greatly reduce stress and create a sense of reassurance. This change is definitely not one that you want to procrastinate on for nine months!
7) Build Self-Confidence
The more confident you are in yourself and what you are capable of achieving, the less you will be susceptible to the potential paralyzing effects of major change. Possessing a strong level of self-confidence will provide a shield to deflect waves of stress emanating from change. So, how do you elevate your self-confidence? There are many approaches, but it all comes down to the individual and his or her unique character values. Some may experience success by maintaining a healthy lifestyle of exercise and a nutritious diet. Others may build self-confidence by accomplishing career goals such as receiving top marks on a performance appraisal or getting a promotion. While yet others amass self-confidence by embracing failure. Realizing that more learning in life comes from failure than success can create a powerful mindset where we don’t determine our personal value by the opinions or actions of others.
Developing a new life skill to counteract the debilitating effects of change is not going to be an overnight accomplishment. It’s going to take continual work and focus to expand your personal universe. While change often takes place as an event, modifying your mindset when it comes to change is not. It’s a process. When considering the substantial impact of stress generated by change on your mental and physical state, it’s certainly a process worth undergoing. It’s important for us to remember that, more often than not, the anxiety resulting from change and how we internalize it, is far worse than the change itself once the dust settles. Exercising self-awareness combined with a determination to never stop learning will lead you down the path of taking control over the imminent changes in your life.
Date Published: 2/9/2021